Volume 13

It’s been a couple weeks since my last post, a little longer than usual, I must admit I’ve been on quite the roll lately. My excitement for  Halloween had me posting my latest blog a little too early and I thought it fitting up until the holiday to have that as my most recent post. That and the fact that I have been on a little bit of a rollercoaster with my heath, won’t get too much into detail, but all I will say tis the season for the cold and flu. But, as November 1st has arrived, I  feverishly take down my Halloween decor in anticipation for the arrival of a ridiculous amount of Christmas themed decor. I  must mention the peculiarity of my belief that snow is not welcome on All Hallows Eve but if I were to wake up to on the 1st it would be welcomed with open arms. 

Since it is a brand new month I thought it would be a good idea to touch on a topic that has to do with relationships and with people. As the holiday season slowly approaches, and Hallmark begins their holiday movie countdown- which in my opinion is amazing and there are never enough ,though my TiVo begs to differ- we begin to reconnect and think about our family and friends. We will make extra visits to family, put so much though into the perfect gift and hopefully  find the importance and meaning of those around us. But sometimes as hard as we try we to move forward, we must accept that some things are unwilling to change and we have to find it in ourselves to make peace and  to make a choice. So without further ado, a post that I’ve been working on for a while. 

The past is something that we all must live with. Whether it be a good thing or filled with unfortunate memories that are hell bent on going away. Or whether the past that you try so hard to convince yourself you’ve accepted and moved past-doesn’t seem to get the hint. There are no rule books on how to live with the past, though there are many self-help books . Yet still, it’s not that easy. It’s the decision to move forward and to forgive that is the hardest part. 

They say that forgiveness is not for the other person, but for yourself, a wise saying to live by. But, it is not so easy to forgive. It is a fact of life that wounds run deep and to move on we have to bury them.So we forget where they are after a while because we’ve been so busy digging a hole to hide them. Without a map or a light it is hard to find where those wounds are and begin to do the necessary work once we do. 

To go through things together makes it a little easier but not everyone deals with such things the same way, at the same pace, or even at all. But we must understand that everyone goes on their own time. We realize that what seems so hard for us to talk about or deal with, though we find the strength somehow, cannot grace us all with its presence. 

For some, the path that they take is maybe one we cannot imagine taking ourselves, but we should learn to understand. For me, I have never been one to leave anything unfinished and have always tried to mend what is broken.More so  lately, I have found myself reaching out to old friends and extending a branch to those who were important parts of my life.I have been lucky to be welcomed by these individuals with open arms as we could all use as many good friends as we can get. Someone to share your innermost thoughts and feelings with, to be there for you or just to share one of those belly aching laughs that refuse to leave until they’ve been laughed all the way through. And it is a fact that there will always be more than enough room at my table for good friends and family. 

But something we all know to be true is life is meant to be lived. And living life includes good times as well as bad. It’s part of the experience and a part of being human. But when a big part of your life is residing in a dark place with no light and no one there to show you the way out, what do you do? Or when the past refuses to accept that you have moved on and continues to test your resolve what is the best move? 

In truth, I don’t know. And I don’t think that if I did it would be a one size fits all answers or that it is so simple it can be written down in words. What I do know is that everyone has to decide on their own when they are ready to face the past and deal with old wounds-if they decide to at all. Whether we deal with it or not, that does not make us a good or bad person, it makes us human. We don’t always know the right or wrong answer we just have to do what we feel is best at the time. To choose what will allow us to be proud and live with our decision. You are never too old or too young to do that work, to acknowledge your faults or to apologize. And you’re never too old or too young to learn from your past either. We are forever evolving.

The past although it can be challenging, difficult, persistent and painful to name a few- is the past. What I hope is that we learn to move forward in whatever way we can, in whatever way we find the strength. Because sometimes our hopes and dreams for others are just that. They remain somewhere in our imagination and can be only for ourselves. They may never become realized by others. So for those whom you find an understanding ear to listen, you’re lucky. Even better, to find someone who has been there and may help you find your own way. But if not, which is often the case as we go through life, I think it necessary to share the words from someone else older and very wise to end this post. 

“Drive away and try to keep smiling. Get a little rock and roll on the radio and go toward all the life there is with all the courage you can and all the belief you can muster. Be true, be brave, stand”. 

Stephen King, IT 

Until next time… 

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