Volume 14

It’s been a long time since I’ve last posted, longer than I’d like to admit if I’m being honest. There have been life changes since then, I am now officially a Mrs., which in itself is a very exciting change. As we embark on our lives together now I can only imagine all the things that are yet to come, good or bad, we will welcome them with open arms.
Following our wedding, Christmas came and went, followed by New Years which followed at it’s usual pace and remains always a little too quick for my liking. Both to be remembered as our first Christmas and New Years as man and wife. And now, here we are in February, a time in the year which some might call dreary or depressing but not me.
I tend to have quite a bit of love for each season and month. They all have their own unique offerings and winter is no different. Now I would be lying if I didn’t mention that I wouldn’t mind being in hibernation during the winter, as there are only so many things to do inside. And although I am a born and raised Canadian, my minus 20 reflex remains closing the door and watching some movies. But overall, I feel as I continue to grow and hopefully mature, I have a greater appreciation for things around me, particularly things in which I wouldn’t have given a second thought. Though, If I ever come to appreciate minus 20 weather, I think I would need to question my motives, maybe drinking copious amounts of Hot Chocolate would explain it.
Currently, as I write this on a cloudy and grey day, I also notice that I am listening to some of my favourite artists, all Canadian too. There are a multitude of things I am appreciative and grateful for and many which I expect I will come to know as time goes on.
What inspired this post is a favourite song of mine, also oddly enough, in a favourite movie of mine. Which just incase you’re curious, is a romantic comedy. Cliché I know, but I can’t get enough of them no matter how many I’ve seen and why shouldn’t I? I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and just because my happy ever after came true, doesn’t mean I can’t revel in the joy of watching some of my favourite movies with a whole lot of snacks and my husband- still not quite used to saying that yet. But back to what my intentions are for this post and what I’ve personally always found interesting.
Growing old, it happens to all of us, it’s a part of life. It’s also something some of us try to ignore, some stop counting the candles on their birthday, deny telling their age and maybe even go so far as to ignore a birthday altogether- as for the latter, I personally couldn’t imagine. When we’re young, most of us, if not all, can’t wait to grow older. Being young is boring, we can’t do anything fun, our parents are the boss of us and most importantly, we cant have dessert for dinner. This is a stage that in hindsight goes ways too fast. Though at the time seems to be in no rush and perfectly happy to stop and smell the roses no matter how hard we try to rush it along.As we begin to get older we mature and reach an age where we think we are an adult.Suddenly, we are adept to make all our own decisions during our first taste of freedom yet we still wish to be older. We decide there is still not much fun to have at this age, that in a few more years we will be happy, we’ll decide our own fate and finally have what we have wished for.
When we do get what we want and become old enough we are thrown into life, fully and without any warning. We realize what we yearned for is a lot harder than it looks. The shelter that we had all our life and took for granted is no more and we learn to build a new one. So, we do the work and we build it with the tools that we have and to the best of our ability we make it on our own. While we build, which is an ever- changing task, we try our best to understand life but we most often forget the here and now. We begin to catch ourselves wishing for simpler times and our age once again has us wishing we were younger or older than we are right now.
Currently, I am 27 going on what feels like a lot older than I am. Not for any particular reason that makes me feel older and definitely not wiser, but as my other posts indicate ,I’ve always had an incline to feel a little older than my age.Although, if I am being completely honest, I am still deathly afraid of needles and am always sure to never go alone when one is involved. Still, I am grateful as it has done wonders for me in my life as I ensure not to look too far ahead and learn to be more present. I am still unsure of how and why I have been given this perspective, which at times has not always made decisions easy, but has brought me to where I am today and for that I am thankful.
But in life, we are not all given opportunities of clarity and time for reflection and that is no fault of our own. It seems to be the way of life, the hustle and bustle, the wishing for another time or place. And, as it relates to this post- the clock whose job it is to constantly remind us of where we are.
There is such a rush to grow old, to make our own choices, our own decisions, to drive, to date, to have our own place and to be independent. We assume life will be so much better, we will be so much happier if only we were older. So, we are given the gift of growing old if we are lucky. We pass those milestone birthdays, experience all the things that make life worth living, including the not so good parts, but necessary ones and yet the life we have lived and the gifts we have received somehow fall short.
We had such high expectations of our life. We had thought that we would have achieved so much more and that with age life would become easier, simpler and more predictable- but it was quite the opposite. Once we became older, running our own life was not as easy as it has seemed. Getting older comes with many decisions and rights of passage and yet, it also is an incredible journey and one that deserves the right to be celebrated. To count the candles no matter how many, to proudly say your age, to look at all that you have accomplished and give yourself some credit for the life you’ve built. There is so much that can be passed down from those who have lived and who are proud of growing older. The stories of their lives and the journey that they’ve taken can and do inspire so many both young and old alike. It is important we listen and realize that it is never too late. And if we’re lucky and pay close attention, we learn as well.
To me, I think we forget how lucky we are to grow old. We forget to give thanks for the life we have been given and to be grateful for every year and every extra candle on the cake. My hope is that we remember if we can, to count our blessing instead of our age.
Until next time….